Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own
POSTED IN: Authenticity, Leadership
Why I Need A Mentor (and you do too)
I’m a pretty smart guy but I’m pretty sure that, if left to my self, I would have screwed up my life a long time ago. Most of the most important decisions I’ve made in life I didn’t made by myself. I have been blessed with many people through the years who have spoken into my life and help shape me into the person I am today.
I can directly link two pivotal life decisions I’ve made to a couple people God strategically placed in my life at the right time.
1996-1999
The first was my high school vocational school teacher, Bill Aumock. He was the one who provided the inspiration and instruction to help launch my graphic design career in my early 20s. I learned Photoshop, taught my first class, learned the ins and outs of the design industry and secured my first design jobs because of him.
2003
Another important individual that helped change the course of my life was a missionary named Bob McCoy that pastored our church for a few months while the pastor was on a sabbatical. It was a conversation my wife and I had with him that launched us into our first full-time ministry in Fort Wayne, Indiana.
I’m not foolish enough to think I have the ability to make it through life alone. I’m constantly seeking out and listening to wise, godly individuals to grow as a leader and a person. I have lived by this principle:
You will only be successful in your life, ministry or occupation to the degree that you invite and listen to the counsel of wise people.
This past weekend we had the chance to hang with John & Leslie Kindler. This couple has mentored us in recent years and have grown to be very dear friends to Lisa and I. John is a former successful executive with Lincoln Life Insurance with a wealth of wisdom and experience drawn from years of leading and learning. Lisa and I have grown so much as a couple and in ministry because of our time with them. They have helped us work through some difficult situations and remain close friends.
The thing I love about having people like John & Leslie in my life is knowing that no matter how difficult or confusing the situation, we’re not going through it alone. I know that I can call them any time and get invaluable counsel and insight. More importantly, it’s not a one-way relationship. They care enough about Lisa and I to pick up the phone to check on us, encourage and pray for us.
People like John & Leslie have become part of our life story. And that’s what a mentor does. They come along side you and help you with those tough chapters in your life. They love you enough to speak the truth to you. And they encourage you no matter how bleak the situation looks.
Do you have someone in your life that you would consider a mentor? How have you benefited from that relationship?
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May 28, 2008
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I am such a believer in “mentors.” though mine doesnt like to be called that.
They are such a benefit to my life. My current mentor has been for a little over a year and has walked with me through some of the hardest things in my life. She has also been there for some of the happiest…like my wedding.
She has spoken so much wisdom into a lot of situations. i cant imagine life without her and her family.
lynse leannes last blog post..my tribe
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May 28, 2008
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Since I was a teen I have sought a mentor. Someone who cared enough to encourage and to tell me the truth. I have never found that person. A few years ago I had a relationship with a man in our church that I truly cherished. He was wise and oddly enough a former insurance exec in TN. We would have “porch sessions” as we called them. A time when we would set on the porch and discuss life. I really enjoyed those times. During one session I told him I considered him a mentor and I guess, tried to formalize that relationship by calling him my mentor. After I did that he sort of looked at me as if I had no clothes on and that was the begining of the end of the porch sessions. It’s funny, most men run from these type of situations and I have always sought them out but without success. The fact is right now I could really use a good mentor as a friend and I consider what God would have us do concerning starting our own software development effort. Pray God gives me who and what I need.
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May 28, 2008
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Great post Brad. My husband and I have been praying and asking God for mentors that can help us grow into the individuals God called us to be for His kingdom. Thank you for sharing your story. It encouraged us to hold on, and keep believing.
Kelli Brownlees last blog post..Who’s Who
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May 28, 2008
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Lynse – that’s awesome. It’s great to have those kind of people.
Harold & Kelli – I’ll pray God gives you the kind of mentor you’re looking for.
- Brad
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May 28, 2008
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great post! I cannot imagine trying to figure life out without my brother and father-in-law
jasons last blog post..$4.19
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May 28, 2008
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I’ve always been a big fan of mentors. During high school, I met with our pastor weekly…sadly, it didn’t do much good…although I still saw the benefit in it. College provided many opportunities for good mentorship… Every week I had breakfast with one of my professors…we talked life, love, ministry, missions, etc. I miss that…although we still get together once every couple of months or so.
Now, I find myself in a ministry position at the church I grew up in, but still very much appreciate the input and discussion that happens between our Executive Pastor and I. Even though he is “in charge” of me, we still have some pretty honest conversations and didscussion… not sure I would’ve lasted this far without any of these supports…
Brook Sarver
http://www.two10eleven.com
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May 28, 2008
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True that!
Pete Wilsons last blog post..Praying Through The Tears
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May 29, 2008
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Good thoughts on mentors!
We don’t have enough people doing this-which may be why there is so little growth in many people’s lives (at least one of the reasons). I am fortunate to have a mentor as my pastor right now. It’s awesome to work for someone who you want to work for because they challenge you and make you think and dream bigger than you would on your own!
How did you find your mentors?
Kevin Mattisons last blog post..Dinner Time: A Look At How to Eat (part 1)
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May 29, 2008
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Kevin – totally agree. I’ve sort of just grown into any mentoring relationships I’ve had. It just develops over time. Nothing formal. I don’t think you can force it. If it’s not there, it’s not going to work.
- Brad
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May 30, 2008
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Hey Brad,
I not only think it’s beneficial, I think it’s very biblical to have mentor(s) in our lives.
Someone who shaped much of my thinking as a Christian, has gone on to be with Christ now, and I although I don’t pine after him (I wouldn’t wish a person back, after being in Heaven; that would be a bit selfish), the void definitely hasn’t been filled.
P.S. Love what you’ve done with Brian’s Zinfanel theme.
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May 31, 2008
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I am a huge believer in the importance of mentors. The funny thing to me is that oftentimes I don’t realize someone was a mentor in my life until after the fact – after the season of life that they influenced. This was especially true in my high school, college and early career days when I didn’t completely understand or seek out mentors. Now I find that I have a mix of both – those that I seek out and those that naturally occur.
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