I just added your blog to my blogroll.
Cheers!

-Marshall Jones Jr.

How about this one-I have even bought tampons for members of the church I shepherd!!! On different occasions, my wife tended to a physically (or pms-ically) ill young lady while Pastor shopped for just the right tampons or pads. On other occasions, a tween slept over with my wife-and remember from my previous posts, the blonde lady doesn’t shop for her own pads. Wouldn’t you all do the same for the people you love, and whom you appreciate for voluntarily being part of your community?

@Kai Jones: Now that’s an embarrasing thing: Going into the store just to buy a big package of toilet paper. That’s just because there is always some creep or creepette with smirks all over their faces as they look at the not-so-charming-anymore in your hand. I don’t know if this is the trait in human nature that has the men and women all shy about buying tampons, but with the crapola paper, I feel shy.

The difficulty in that area is that it deals with a certain privacy and intimacy that’s difficult to put on someone else (and even more difficult due to said culture’s avoidance of acknowledgement of sex).

I think the same thing is true about buying tampons. We’ve been conditioned (read: brainwashed) in such a way that parts of our anatomy are dirty or forbidden and that anything that has to do with them inheirits that shame.

For instance, I know of several families who refuse to refer to the genitals as “penis” and “vagina.” In stead, it’s your hoo-ha, your pee-pee, or your front butt/back butt. All that’s doing is fostering more of the same shame-based behaviors.

Oh, and I need a package of super-absorbent overnight pads with wings. To go, please.

And while I agree with Kathryn that the heart of the matter is one’s attitude toward the female body in general, and that of your beloved female in particular, I don’t think it’s enough to teach *children* that personal products are nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s pretty clear that the adults need some training, too. And let’s face it. You’re not going to teach your children anything you don’t already espouse or embody.

So, let’s see. First, we’re talking about a culture thing: what constitutes masculinity/femininity, and what offends against it? Personally, I abhor the attitude that says ‘If it has to do with GIRLS, it’s automatically yucky and/or inferior and therefore either needs to be avoided at all costs or else mocked mercilessly in a public forum in order to dissociate it from ME as quickly and strongly as possible!’ That’s misogyny, and it needs to stop.

Second, the anxiety you feel about running an errand for someone else is not a measure of incompetence; it’s a measure of love. You want to get it right because you LOVE her. You ask questions while at the store or do your defensive ‘research’ ahead of time because you CARE. Even if you’re a woman buying for yourself, it’s the same: what do I need? what will work best? how do I TAKE CARE of this body?

It seems to me that if you’ve decided that her comfort matters at least as much as your own, and staying in her good graces is a prize worth your investment, then that’s where your commitment lies and that commitment is what you act on without shame or hesitation. If your commitment is more about saving face through the lens of ego or public opinion (what the checkout person sees or thinks, what makes your readers giggle, what makes you squirm inside, etc.), then you’ll behave quite differently.

So I guess my sense of conflictedness about this blog post comes down to this: what really motivated this piece? Was it love?

i think its great and funny and sweet that you will go and buy tampons for your wife even though it is embarrassing for you. true story…on my parents wedding night, my mom sent my dad to the store for “band-aids”, both the literal and figurative, as she had cut the crap out of her leg shaving for the big event, and due to nerves, had a visit from “aunt flo”. i say love is both a choice and an action and it sounds to me like you are choosing to love lisa well. peace

So, the truth is a lot of women feel just as embarrassed, and hide the stuff under the peas. I personally always make sure I head for a female cashier. I definitely stick them under what I have in my basket, and would never have them sticking out the top of the bag when I head out of the store. And the endless varieties are both useful and a result of the over-engineering of products, from gym shoes to toothbrushes. I have stood in that isle in a confuzzled daze myself.

I think the fact that you pick up your wife’s tampons even though it’s embarrassing is great. My father absolutely refused to buy them, even though he did all of the grocery shopping for our family, and so I’ve been buying (and paying for) my own supplies since I was 13. Talk about being embarrassed, try being a 13 year old girl who actually needs the stuff, buying them from a male checker in her small town!

And this brings me to why I’m commenting. I think the crux of the issue, the nub of the problem some of my friends have with what you wrote, is that it sucks for women to be embarrassed about their own bodies, and the natural things they do. So I’m going to ask that if you have kids (which I hope you do, you seem like a decent, caring guy) you make sure you never make your daughter feel there’s anything embarrassing about her period. Try to make her feel she can talk to you about anything her body is going through. And the same for her brother(s). If you can raise girls and boys who don’t feel embarrassed about picking up tampons, you will be doing a wonderful thing.