CONFESSION: I Take My Marriage For Granted

7 posted on November 7, 2008

POSTED IN: Authenticity

** this post is part of my Confessions series. Be sure to read this first **

Lisa and I have a good marriage.

By some definitions it could be considered a very good marriage.

We’ve taken steps to ensure that we don’t fall prey to some of the many pitfalls that couples face. We have disagreements but we always try to resolve them as civilly as possible. We’ve made a commitment to not take our frustrations with each other to bed without addressing them. We don’t yell or scream at each other or say mean and hurtful things if we’re having an disagreement. Our children know we love each other and feel very secure about our relationship.

Like I said, we have a good marriage.

But that’s just the thing. Our relationship is good so I have a tendency to take that for granted and forget what made it good and what we can do to make it better.

I think I’ve become pretty complacent in my relationship with Lisa. I’ve taken what we have for granted. I’ve taken her for granted.

I don’t want to just settle for a good marriage. I want a great marriage.

Good is the enemy of great and relationships are no exception. It’s way too easy to just keep coasting along and let things slide. Leave well enough alone. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. And if I really am honest with myself I think that’s where I’m at.

Good marriages can sometimes happen all on their own if the right two people are compatible and aren’t naturally confrontational. Great marriages require intentional, consistent work.

I’m not going to tie this post up with a neat little bow because I don’t think there’s a 1-2-3 solution to making a good marriage great. It’s going to take time and effort. But it’s something I’m committing to work on.

So there you have it. That’s my confession.

Can you relate?

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This entry was posted on Friday, November 7th, 2008 at 10:44 am and is filed under Authenticity. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

13 Comments

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November 7, 2008

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1 Jared Woodard said:

Very much so. Its so easy in marriage to get complacent. Great post

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November 7, 2008

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2 Cherith said:

Oh wow! I am right there with you. Althought I have only been married for a fresh one year, I feel that way. BJ and I always pray that are marriage is solid and something that other couples can look up too. We want a great marriage… I know I take advantage of BJ. I am so spolied by him. Our love for each other is almost unreal now-a-days.

Great post brad. That’s what I needed to hear today!
Love you guys!

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3 Terrace Crawford said:

Great post. I love this series. Saying a prayer for your marriage right now.

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November 7, 2008

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4 Rachel said:

Absolutely. I’ve recently had to come face to face with the fact that I too and guilty of the same. I am commited to working it, working on me, making a good marriage an amazing marriage!!!!!

I want to fall in love with him all over again.
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November 7, 2008

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5 Nick said:

Thanks for posting this… I do the exact same thing and my wife and I both know it! Its good to know there are real people like us out there…

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November 7, 2008

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6 Adam said:

wow.. what a great post!! You gave me A TON of stuff to think about! I appreciate you honesty.

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November 7, 2008

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7 Michael said:

A great post Brad. Very timely. Thank you for your example is fighting for the best.

A very convicting verse for me the last couple of weeks has been 1 Th 3:12…

May the Lord cause you to increase and abound in love for one another, and for all people, just as we also do for you;

It is far too easy for me to say that I love someone. It takes tremendous effort and intention for me to increase in love for another.

I guess that is my confession. I can take all of my relationships for granted.
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8 brandiandboys said:

i think what you’re discussing happens so easily. we get caught up in the hustle and bustle of kids, careers, social life, and just let our marriage go to the back burner! we have to remember to focus on appreciating each other and our commitment!

glad you realize it! lisa’s a lucky one!

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9 brent(inWorship) said:

Great post. And a great reminder.

I have found that in my relationship with time, it is the times that I think everything is ok, where I fail to see the issues rising up and then all of a sudden, there’s conflict.

It’s a constant work. but one that is truly awesome!

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10 tam said:

yah. brent does this all the time!
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November 9, 2008

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11 tam said:

im just kidding!

i think we’re a lot like you and lisa. we’re very good together. and we’re intentional, we’re GREAT together. i see the difference clearly while reading your post.
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November 10, 2008

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12 Tim said:

I’m right there with you. Honestly, my biggest enemy in my marriage is my complacency.

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13 vannie said:

Many thanks to you, Brad for sharing it to us. Many of us can relate and I’m into thinking right now about your confession. Keep coming!