A Rant About Burnt Toast

A Rant About Burnt Toast
9 posted on January 9, 2009
POSTED IN: Blog Posts, Just For Fun

Do you mind if I vent on for a second?

Toasters frustrate the heck out of me.

Why is it that the toast almost never comes out right the first time it pops out of the toaster? I know I can’t be the only one who has this problem.

I think all toasters have a built-in factory setting that prevents it from toasting it right the first time. You can almost hear it saying innocently, “You wanted toast? I thought you just wanted me to warm up your bread. Ok, I’ll get it right this time. Promise.”

And so, we push the lever back down again and wait for the toaster to make good on its promise. Then inevitably, within 5 seconds of pushing the toast back down something happens – the phone rings, someone spills their milk, a child hits their sister with a spoon – just a momentary distraction. You deal with it only to come back to see the toaster grinning wickedly at you with a blackened slice of bread poking out the top.

You sigh as you dejectedly grab for another slice of bread to try again.

What kitchen appliances frustrate you?

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This entry was posted on Friday, January 9th, 2009 at 10:30 am and is filed under Blog Posts, Just For Fun. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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  1. Visit My Website

    January 9, 2009

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    1 Abbey said:

    The Newsboys totally sing about this!! You know…”When the toast has burned and all the milk has turned and Captain Crunch is waving farewell!”…

    Seriously though, our automatic can opener frustrates me. It never seems to actually open things until the second try. =(



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    January 9, 2009

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    2 Starwoodgal said:

    I no longer own a traditional toaster. I have a toaster oven. Perfect toast every single time!

    Starwoodgal’s last blog post..Recipe: Broccoli and Rice Casserole



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    January 9, 2009

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    3 Adam said:

    I never make toast. Seriously the only time I have toast is if we go out for breakfast.

    and dare I say I really never eat breakfast. well unless you consider 2 cups of coffee breakfast.



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    January 9, 2009

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    4 Curtis said:

    …reminds me of the Calvin & Hobbes cartoon where Calvin complains the toaster ruined his toast. He says it didn’t cook enough the first time, so he pushed it down again. Now one side’s burned, and the other is hardly singed. Dad tells him that yet..somehow..life goes on. Calvin looks at his toast. He says beneath that larger perspective is a guy who doesn’t want to spring for a new toaster.

    Brad, maybe you need a larger perspective…or a new toaster.

    Curtis’s last blog post..Who Kidnapped Jesus?



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    January 9, 2009

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    5 Nick said:

    If we’re talking about “Kitchen Appliances” then I agree with you, the toaster, for the very reasons you have listed.

    The only toaster I have not had this issue with is the one that I used in High School when I was a server at Cracker Barrel. Their’s was a commercial grade one and it worked like Heaven :)

    Nick’s last blog post..Happy Birthday Gavin!!!



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    January 9, 2009

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    6 Cherith said:

    I DO NOT like my old non stick pans. Does that count??? My set that I got for our wedding is amazing. I can cook the cheesiest, stickest things, and it will rinse off with ease. Not my old pans. Plan on soaking and scrubbing your life away.

    The one appliance that I love is my Pampered Chef can opener. Its the special kind that won’t have sharp edges. But you have to use it a certain way and NO ONE can figure it out. It’s funny.

    Cherith’s last blog post..What kind of “parker” are you?



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    January 9, 2009

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    7 Juli Jarvis said:

    Well, we have a great movie of a burning toaster somewhere (probably not on digital, however). Wish I could find it to show you — somebody managed to run the toaster out to the back porch so it wouldn’t take down the whole house! But it had flames shooting very high out of it, and everyone was giggling. Also, my husband’s cousin’s house had a major fire because of a toaster. Needless to say, we use a toaster oven now, although I’m doubtful it’s any safer than a toaster.

    Juli Jarvis’s last blog post..MOPS and Compassion



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    January 9, 2009

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    8 Amanda said:

    Automatic can opener gets 1st place here! Takes me around 5 min’s to NOT open a can and finally take out the old fashion one… and this should be saving me time!? :-) Thanks.. I needed to vent about that.. I feel much better now…



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    January 9, 2009

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    9 Mus_ said:

    buy a new toaster. Hahaha..



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    January 9, 2009

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    10 Chris S. said:

    Toaster oven that is set to the perfect position, press start and enjoy perfect toast at the beep!

    Chris S.’s last blog post..My “Must Read” List



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    January 9, 2009

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    11 karen said:

    Definitely the toaster. I bought a nice loaf of bread only to have it NOT FIT in the toaster. Not to mention that the crumb tray leaks crumbs all over.



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    January 9, 2009

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    12 Pokinatcha said:

    Definitely the electric can opener. In over 20 yrs of marriage we have never had one that works right! I have no idea what the problem is!

    Pokinatcha’s last blog post..Third Day On The 8th Day



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    January 9, 2009

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    13 Laura Carney said:

    This literally happened to me just this morning…I pushed the “warmed bread” back down, had a momentary distraction (I intended to not let it go through an entire second cycle), and came back to black toast. I tried to save it by quickly putting butter on it so it wouldn’t get too dry, but it was nasty! Good post :)

    Laura Carney’s last blog post..Boy or Girl???



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    January 10, 2009

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    14 Pat said:

    we have a coffee pot that if you don’t get the lid on just right will not allow the brewed coffee in it resulting in it all over the counter. Usually, we don’t notice it until the whole pot is all over the counter. A mess and a wasted pot of coffee makes me very angry

    Pat’s last blog post..15 years ago today….



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    January 10, 2009

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    15 Kassie said:

    My kitchen appliance pet peeve is my electric range. I can NEVER get the dial for the burner at the place I want it. “HI” is too high and things boil over, so I turn it down. Then it won’t even simmer, so I turn it back up a bit. Too high – boils over….turn it down – lose the boil. It is so irritating! I miss my gas range from our old apartment. So much easier to control.



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    January 11, 2009

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    16 slowtraincoming said:

    Not that I’m smarter than anyone else on this website, but I have managed to master the kitchen appliances. The toaster – no problem. I can even adjust it. One setting for toast; another for the PopTarts. Can opener – both electric and hand-crank. I can open cans of soup, green beans, pinto beans, fruit cocktail. I have even opened up frozen cans of juice concentrate. Thank you. Microwave – again, no problem. From popcorn to pizza; from bacon to beefaroni, I can flat out use the microwave. I can even set the correct time after the lights go out. Go figure. I will spare you the details but I feel I am a master with the blender, the juicer, and other sorted appliances. This past Thanksgiving, people were weeping around the table as I used an electric carving knife to slice the turkey. It was something to see. In closing, please allow me to humbly add, even though it may not be listed as an appliance, my control and useage of that rubbery, circular, thing-a-ma-jig that helps loosen lids. There is no such thing as a stuck lid in my kitchen. Peanut butter jars; mayonaisse jars; even the ever-difficult all-ready opened but now dried on syrup bottle lid … open! It’s amazing, if I say so myself. Thank you for allowing me to comment and share my unique gift. A gift from God. I will pray for you and the toaster fiasco. Keep trying my boy! In the end, good toast will be worth it all.



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    January 12, 2009

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    17 Stephanie said:

    My toaster never seems to get it right either! Since the smell of burnt toast seems to linger forever, I rarely eat toast anymore. If I’m desperate for it, I make it in the frying pan like a grilled cheese. Kind of a pain, but very yummy!

    Stephanie’s last blog post..New Year



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    January 12, 2009

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    18 tam said:

    the cheese grater. well…my knuckles dont like it.

    tam’s last blog post..i didnt cry on Sunday!



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    January 12, 2009

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    19 Doug said:

    I switched from a Mr. Coffee to a Bunn and it took me the longest to remember that water in = water out, mess made. Plus a toaster that has a bagel setting that means, I think, use a toaster oven!



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    January 13, 2009

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    20 Doug said:

    hy didn’t my commentluv update?????

    Doug’s last blog post..Waiting on a Signal



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    November 25, 2010

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    21 Towel Rails said:

    electric ranges are very convenient to use compared to gas ranges ‘,*



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