Me Brad. Me Mighty Hunter.

27 posted on February 27, 2009

POSTED IN: Blog Posts

So last week I’m going through my mail and see a North American Hunter magazine. I assumed someone else’s mail had been put in my box until I looked at the address label and saw that it was addressed to me.

If you know anything at all about me you’ll immediately see why I’m the last person on earth that would read any type of hunting magazine. Not that I have anything against hunters. I’m just shall we say, not exactly the hunting type.

Take this issue of North American Hunter for example. The cover story headline asks:

I have absolutely no problem admitting that I most definitely am not man enough to face off with a moose, let alone a manic, rut-crazed bull. If that is what it takes to attain my manhood, I’ll most gladly hang on to my suburban lifestyle and leave the manic moose (mooses? moosi?) to the more manly men.

In another recent issue this headline was on the cover:

If by “shots” they’re referring to espresso shots, sign me up. I’m ready for my mettle to be tested. I can knock down espresso with the best of them regardless of the “shot scenario.” Line ‘em up.

Let’s have a little fun here.
What magazines would you be least likely to subscribe to or read?

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19 Comments

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February 27, 2009

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1 Jason Ruggles said:

Ha Ha!

I know what you mean! I finally realized that I could read INSIDE and didn’t have to freeze my BUTTOCKS off waiting for Bambi to come along so I can murder her. Someone else can kill her, I’ll cook her… maybe a nice braise…

But remember the deer you got? Not with a gun, but the family Crown Vic! The poor thing never had a chance with that boat!

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2 Mud Puppy said:

I think it’s pronounced Meece.

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3 Brad Ruggles said:

@Jason – Ughh! You had to bring up me killing that poor baby deer, didn’t you? I can still hear the helpless little sounds it made when it died…obviously the therapy didn’t help.

@MudPuppy – Meece…gotcha. See, another reason why I would never survive as a hunter.
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4 Jason Ruggles said:

I wonder who signed you up for the zine…
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5 Juli Jarvis said:

I agree with you guys — we live right in the middle of hunting country with lots of moose & elk [I have personally come nose to nose with some of these creatures, but certainly not with a gun in my hands].
But to answer your question — there’s a lot of them out there–probably “Car and Driver” or even “Sports Illustrated” or “Maxim” would be some of the least likely. I don’t even care for “Vogue” or “Glamour.”

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6 GregQualls said:

I had to go look it up to see what it was called, but I’ve seen it at Walgreens. J-14…you’ll recognize it when you go to the link.

http://www.j-14.com/

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7 Abbey said:

Least likely? Cosmopolitan or Sports Illustrated.
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8 Nick said:

Haha! Great post!
I’d probably be least likely to subscribe to “BUST” – Yeah, the name sums up why.

http://www.magazines.com/product/bust

My brother signed me up for hearing aid information one time and they would not stop sending me videos and brochures, it was crazy!

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9 bryan allain said:

so by the title of this post are you insinuating that hunters talk like cavemen and havent evolved culturally like the non-hunters? i might be offended, if i wasn’t exactly like you.

You’ll never see me in Barnes & Noble skimming a hunting magazine, Cat Fancy, or anything involving Rock Climbing.

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10 Shannon Smith said:

Wedding Magazines, e.g. Bride(-zilla)s, Modern Bride, elegant bride, etc..

You know, those magazines that tell women that they NEED all the big, fancy wedding stuff, but fail to tell them that it’s what comes after the wedding, i.e. the marriage, that they should be focused on. Women, and some men, get so wrapped up in the stuff they push in those magazines it’s ridiculous.

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11 Brunettekoala said:

Women’s Weekly (or any similar mags) or Good Housekeeping (ha ha! Did they see my flat?)

Or a sailing magazine.

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12 ryan guard said:

least likely to subscribe to… I asked my wife and mother-in-law (who are sitting in the room with me) and my mother-in-law quickly said “Playboy” haha!

I worked with a pastor who was a big-time hunter. Every sermon illustration had something to do with seagull migration or rifles… so one day I decided to sign him up for every single PETA newsletter. I think there were seven or eight of them.

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13 Brad Ruggles said:

@Juli – One episode of Car & Driver coming your way!

@Abbey – Not a Cosmo girl?

@GregQualls – Awww, come on! That looks like a great mag!

@Nick – Bust? Now there’s an interesting name for a magazine.

@Bryan – Really? I always took you for the cat kinda guy. You sure you don’t sneak Cat Fancy magazines under your mattress?

@Shannon – I used to read all those Wedding magazines back when I did Wedding videography.

@Brunettekoala – Sailing magazines are actually kinda cool. Then again, I’m about as much of a sailor as Bill Murray’s character in ‘What About Bob’

@Ryan – Signing your hunter pastor up for PETA newsletters? Dude, now that’s funny!
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14 Brook said:

While I do enjoy a video game every now and then, I can honestly say that I will never subscribe to a gaming magazine. That’s just a level that I’m not ready to stoop to…
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15 Curtis Honeycutt said:

I think the word is “meese”.

I wouldn’t be caught dead with a subscription to a hunting magazine either.

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16 Jared Woodard said:

Well,unlike alot of the other pep’s here,send me all the hunting mag subscriptions you want!

I’d say I wouldnt be caught dead reading anything PETA related, but thats just me

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17 Kerry Snyder said:

I think it’s many much “Moosen”.

I wouldn’t have anything to do with a hunting subscription either… Or like NASCAR monthly or whatever the car racing one is…

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18 joseph said:

Lord save us from the Manic Moose!

Least likely magazine for me would be Body Builder

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19 Kassie said:

My least likely mag subscription would be “Guns and Ammo”. (Makes me shiver a little just thinking about it.) Just not my cup of tea. (But….maybe a mag about cups of tea WOULD be.)