Finding God In The Shadows
POSTED IN: Authenticity, Blog Posts
This past week Lisa and I spent some time praying through some issues with our dear friends and mentors and allowing God to bring healing and wholeness to our lives. (On a side-note, if you don’t have Godly mentors in your life that can talk straight to you and motivate you to change, ask God to help you find some.)
One of the things we prayed through was thanking God for the difficult things we’ve been through in life. Sure, I’ve prayed Romans 8:28 a thousand times (‘all things work together for good…’) but I still think that if I were given a magic wand with the ability to change things in my past I would use it.
It’s so easy to look at the good times in our lives and see the hand of God at work but do we see Him as clearly in the shadows? More importantly, do I acknowledge the dark times of my life as an important part of my story?
Consider this quote by Brennan Manning.
To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God’s grace means. As Thomas Merton put it, ‘A saint is not someone who is good but who experiences the goodness of God.’
Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel
I guess the best way to say it is that I’ve considered dark times in my life a “necessary evil” but one that I would gladly discard if I could. And yet God sees those times as not only necessary but a vital part of my story. It was there that I encountered God’s grace.
What about you?
Have you learned to acknowledge your whole life story – the good and the bad – as chapters in the story God is writing through you? Or are there still pages you would rip out if you could? Share honestly so we can pray for each other.
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May 18, 2009
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I’ve done the exact same thing, wished I could erase parts of my past, LARGE parts at that, haha. Then I realize that those times were necessary for God to chisel away at me and make me into who He wants me to be. In order for clay to be molded, it often has to take a pounding.
I’m just like you though, given the chance, I think I’d rip those pages out just the same.
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May 18, 2009
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Oh I wish I could remove some of those things I have done from my past… but that’s probably because I have a limited perspective. I’m about three years behind the ball usually when it comes to seeing God in the midst of my pain and darkness. It’s always a few years later when I say “Oh, there He was!”. But then again, God’s infinite mercy wouldn’t have been as visible in my life if I hadn’t done those things and lived that life. I love how Paul talks about it in the first chapter of 1st Timothy- saying God used him as an example even though he was “the worst of sinners”.
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May 18, 2009
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Oh, by the way, I just finished Brennan’s latest book last night: “The Furious Longing of God”. It’s short, but a refreshing read from one of my favorite authors! Go get it.
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May 18, 2009
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I do not have a lot that I think I would want to erase. Don’t get me wrong, I have had challenges, tough times and worries. I have made bad decisions and done things that should have probably killed me. (college alone has a list)
I do not care to remove these pages simply because it is who I am and what I am. It is what made me the father I am, husband, follower and friend. I think those things ultimately will have a bigger purpose although I may not see what they are just yet.
What I do wish and pray for however is a strong mentor figure in my life. I have played the role for others and now I am at a point in time in my life I need to excel and move to the next level both spiritually and through my career.
Great piece Brad!
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May 18, 2009
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great post. and great quote by brennan manning. God has been revealing to me my “shadow side” and how much I need him. when i let Him live through me, He is glorified. because stephen without Christ is a complete mess and screw up. yeah, i would take a few pages of my life and rip them out in a heartbeat. but i am thankful for His grace and how he has used each situation to bring me to a greater realization of who He is and how His love never ends.
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May 18, 2009
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I love this…really important. We have mentors and we are mentors and it is so hugely important. I also love that, as dark as the times in the low valleys are, the fruit that comes from such times is so very sweet. Thanks for sharing.
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May 18, 2009
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I think the farther you get from the difficult situations, the easier it is to see how they’ve worked in your life and to even be thankful for how its made you who you are today. I have come to that understanding with things that happened what seems like forever ago.
That being said, I definitely have recent hardships (pages)that I would rip out if I could…in a instant I would do it. I can’t honestly say that I think I’ll ever see it as a “vital part” of my story. I don’t care how good some things that came out of it are/were…I’d still change it given the chance.
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May 19, 2009
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Good stuff Brad
We always share stories of victory, but we can’t afford to avoid the authenticity revealed in the stories from the shadows.
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May 19, 2009
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Brad,
I think so often in my life it was the times that I withheld the whole story or avoided the shadows that I missed the fullness of God. Coming face to face with the dark times and allowing God to break through them, rather than me try to manipulate them has made such a difference in my relationship with God, my wife and my kids. Great thoughts!
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May 21, 2009
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[...] Brad Ruggles talked about seeing God in the dark times of your life in this post. [...]
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May 23, 2009
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oh i’m in the shadows all right…
i’m in a place where i’m struggling to acknowledge what i’m going through right now. i keep finding myself saying—both to myself and out loud—”is this really my life right now?!” i just can’t believe it. my husband had a long-term affair with a staff member and friend. and now he wants a divorce. the bottom has fallen out of my world and i’m still not ready to fully accept that this happening. that this is real. and yet… it is.
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