In Defense of Adultery

8 posted on June 8, 2009

POSTED IN: Blog Posts

So there’s apparently this whole pro-cheating movement proliferating on the internet. Huge surprise, right?

According to Utne, there’s a raft of pro-adultery literature cropping up on the web. They cite a piece on Briarpatch that dismisses marriage as a tyranny in which “your intimacy is governed by scarcity, threats, and programmed prohibitions, and protected ideologically by assurances that there are no viable alternatives”; and an irreverent post on Jewcy about the (apparent) Jewish infidelity movement.

Couples married more than a year or two will tell you: Marriage is work. It requires open, authentic communication between both partners. Keeping two people in a fulfilling relationship is difficult, while adultery comes naturally. It’s often easier to find someone new to share your dreams and difficulties with. Easier that is, until that new car smell has worn off and the cycle repeats itself all over again.

Our good friends Justin & Trisha will tell you that there are plenty of things that, if left unresolved, will destroy your marriage. Let’s face it, the odds are stacked against long-lasting, healthy relationships and the opportunities for disaster abound.

Justin & Trisha shared that praying for each other and your marriage is crucial for long-term health in your relationship.

Take a minute and share your prayer for your marriage.

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11 Comments

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June 8, 2009

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1 Lisa@put-it-on-the-list said:

This July, my husband and I will celebrate 20 years of a committed, monogamous marriage.

My prayer? That God will allow me 20 more years with this man: my best friend, my mate, my lover, my husband.

I would not trade him for any fleeting thrill out there. I know what I have, and I’m keeping him! Only commitment and true intimacy — truly knowing another person and loving them IN SPITE OF their flaws — can allow your relationship to grow and flourish.

Lisa@put-it-on-the-list’s last blog post..A Fish Tale
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June 8, 2009

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2 joseph said:

My wife and I get to celebrate our 14th in October.

Yes marriage is tough but when you spend it with your best friend it is worth it.

My prayer would be simply to keep loving my best friend.

joseph’s last blog post..classless act
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June 8, 2009

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3 Bill Wolfe said:

It’s worth saying again: Marriage is work!

Holli and I are celebrating 14 years this year and my prayer for our marriage is that we always live an intentional marriage. This means doing the little things even when we don’t want to and living out our marriage with purpose.

God first, Spouse second. Everything else after that.

Bill Wolfe’s last blog post..Crossing The Finish Line
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June 8, 2009

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4 Juli Jarvis said:

34 years for us this August. I pray God will continue the work He is doing in our lives, and that we will both be open to His Spirit. It pays to stick it out in marriage, even when the times are difficult! Most of the changes I’ve wanted to see in him are paired with changes needed in me!
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June 8, 2009

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5 Adam O said:

This is such a good topic Brad. I watched the video that was done at CrossPoint and it still blows me away that it can happen to anyone…ANYONE

My prayer for my marriage is that the conversation will never stop..even at times it is hard. But I think also I need to start praying more for Karen on a more consistent basis.
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June 8, 2009

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6 Why We Do What We Do | Refine Us said:

[...] despite her efforts, despite our prayers, her husband wanted out of their marriage. Then I read this post by our good friend Brad Ruggles, and it just broke my [...]
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June 9, 2009

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7 Stephanie said:

My husband and I just celebrated 4 years together. They have been wonderful and difficult, filled with more ups and downs than we could have possibly imagined going in. In just a few weeks, we will welcome the newest member of our family.

My prayer for our marriage is that we will continue to seek Him first and set a great, Godly example for our daughter.

Stephanie’s last blog post..Childbirth Class: Week 4
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June 9, 2009

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8 Chelan Rene’ said:

12 years on the 14th, for us. I pray that we will have & keep the goal in mind, to “out-bless” each other with a Godly love- agape love that expects nothing in return & only seeks to serve others.

…that, and to start swallowing our pride & saying we’re sorry sooner than 2 -3 days after an argument.

Chelan Rene’’s last blog post..The Bible – to search & research
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June 9, 2009

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9 Jim said:

I’ve been married for 16 years next month. Give me a break.

Jim’s last blog post..The Origin of Mass
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June 11, 2009

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10 Tommykey said:

As a happily married man approaching his 10th wedding anniversary, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that a healthy marriage is work. It’s more like basic maintenance, like changing the oil in your car every three months.

For me, the most important thing is that the person you marry shouldn’t be just a spouse, but your best friend. While the thought of committing adultery tempts me sometimes, I recognize the potential negative consequences of doing so. Because my wife is my best friend, she deserves my fidelity and honesty.

As an atheist, that is good enough for me.

Tommykey’s last blog post..David Carradine, R.I.P.
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June 21, 2009

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11 Marty said:

I think we so often miss that marriage is worth it, regardless of our own personal take on how demanding it feels. It is worth it for what it requires of us. We must invest to become better, different, less selfish, more constructive people. It requires being tested. Strength and wisdom are costly. Marriage is also worth it for what it produces: long-standing relationships, children, security, history, heritage. Neither adultery nor serial relationships can provide the richness that comes from commitment and going the distance. When that’s over, there’s nothing left, either for oneself or for anyone else. Rather than providing enrichment, adultery ultimately drains us, leaving nothing behind, and making us less than we were. By contrast, there comes a time when one looks back with incredible satisfaction at what has been built: roof, walls, music, beauty, stability, a shelter for all who come. Was that not worth whatever it cost? What a frightening thought to have given up at any of those times when it was tempting – whether there were many or few. Ultimately, marriage grows into something much greater than the sum of its parts. And it leaves riches for those who follow after. I know because I have been young and am now old.

There is no price to put on an intact family with children and grandchildren