Things You Can Do As You Get Older But Probably Shouldn’t

24 posted on June 24, 2009

POSTED IN: Blog Posts, Randomness

Age has a funny way of creeping up on us, especially those of us who try to pretend we’re immune to its effects. It seems the more we try to avoid it the more it takes pleasure in reminding us of the inevitability of growing old.

Those of you past thirty who are already on the fast-track to the rocking chair on the front porch will probably relate. The rest of you can just have a laugh at our expense and file this away for later. And when I say ‘later’, I mean that as a statement of inevitability…because your day will come.

Wrestling

The funny thing about getting older (and I’m not talking drinking-ensure-and-prostate-exams-old, I’m referring here to the slightly-past-your-prime-but-don’t-know-it kind of old) is that most of us think that our bodies are still capable of doing the things we did when we were in our prime.

Here’s a little secret: our brains and our bodies hate each other. Our brain has a tendency to go and do something stupid like tell our body that it is still capable of wrestling with that 17 year old kid who happens to be on the wrestling team because, after all, wasn’t that just yesterday (i.e. 379 years ago) that you used to enjoy roughing around? The next morning when you can’t get out of bed because your back is out and every muscle in your body is screaming in pain your body remembers why it’s not supposed to listen to your brain. Stupid body!

Reminiscing About When You Were A Kid

This one is kinda tricky because those sweet memories have a way of sneaking their way into stories and before you know you’re starting sentences with things like, “When I was your age…” which silently screams, I have lived a very long time and am about to tell you a very long story. This can be easily avoided by watching the words we use.

Rather than starting with “When I was your age…” instead say, “Just a couple years ago…” I know, I know, it wasn’t just a couple of years ago. The story you’re about to tell probably took place when cell phones were still in science fiction books and gaming consoles were considered high resolution if they had more than 16 colors but they don’t need to know that.

Complaining About Gas Prices

Yes, gas prices have risen steadily through the years. And yes, I’m sure you remember filling up your Ford Pinto for $.85 cents a gallon. Just remember, it’s ok to quietly complain to yourself when you’re at the pump. Just resist the urge to tell that college kid at the pump next to yours how good you had it when you were a kid (see above) because more than likely (a) he’s not interested in your story and (b) you telling him things like how the price of gas used to be so cheap only reinforces in his mind that you really are from a different planet.

Stay Up All Night With Friends

It’s easy to fool ourselves into thinking that we’re capable of doing stupid things like staying out until 4 in the morning with friends (remember that body/brain connection I talked about?). After all, a couple of Red Bulls go a long way towards fooling ourselves into thinking we have the same stamina that we’ve always had.

Be warned, Red Bulls are not your friend! They make you forget about things like the 3-year-old that is going to be jumping on your bed at 6:00 AM the next morning demanding that you make pancakes. Because just because you thought you could stay out all night like you did when you were young doesn’t mean you can sleep in all morning like you did when you were young. Yin and freaking Yang my friend.

What things have you discovered you probably shouldn’t do as you get older?

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8 Comments

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June 24, 2009

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1 Sarah said:

Using the hip, young slang that’s going around. Just doesn’t work.

I once tried to say “that’s coo’ ” (cool, in the “cool” way), and had a 10 year old tell me, with attitude, “that’s NOT cool, Sarah”. *Sigh* I tried.

And I’m only 28. It will only get worse.
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June 24, 2009

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2 Shellie (baylormum) said:

Well, when I was your age……

Driving all day now means about 8 hours, not 12 or 13. And more potty breaks than 30 years ago!

Eating. The older I get, the worse my back gets, the more I eat, the less calories I burn. Problem with this is I LOVE TO EAT!

I also remember that when cartoons said a bad word it was #@&#&, not spoken.

Yes, I am old, and I know it.

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June 24, 2009

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3 Emily said:

My husband was watching our son’s wrestling practice and there was a highschool boy who needed a partner. This was greco-roman wrestling where you do a LOT of throwing…

My husband, all 160lbs of him wrestled with a 225+ fit highschool kid. Or rather, let himself be used as a test dummy.

the next day he was SURE that he had fratured a rib.

And yes, he had wrestled since he ws 7 years old, but it’s not the same when you’re 35!

hilarious post.
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June 24, 2009

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4 Sovann said:

Never, ever stop rassling!
It provides much fodder for comedy (friends and family to mock you) and blog posts and helps you do #2 and reminisce about when you were in shape and could wrestle for hours and #4 help you stay up all night because you are in pain.

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June 24, 2009

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5 Stephen Bateman said:

Haha gas prices. I’m 18 and I remember $.89 gas…so yea.

Stephen Bateman’s last blog post..My blog needs to rest.
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June 24, 2009

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6 Heather Smith said:

A) I am 21 and I complain about gas prices because I remember when it was $.85…
B) I had no idea what a gaming console was until I clicked on the link and even then I only reconized one of the many shown, LOL!
C) I have no idea what you last sentence means, “Yin and freaking Yang my friend.”
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June 25, 2009

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7 dewde said:

Play online video games. I get just as addicted as I did back in the day, but with 2.5 kids and a small business to run… not smart.

I’ve been on the wagon since Sept 2005, when I canceled my WoW account.

peace|dewde

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June 26, 2009

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8 Jeff said:

The thing I hate?
I hate waking up sore or tired and not even having a good reason for it!
When I was young and foolish, I would wake up and feel sore and I could grin to myself, knowing that I deserved and it and it was worth it… Now?
Now, half the time I can’t even figure out what it was, and if I can figure it out, it’s such a minor, pathetic thing I don’t want to admit it!
(I’m only 37 if that makes any difference here.)

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