I Think I’m Going Crazy
POSTED IN: Blog Posts, Leadership
Self-doubt.
We all struggle with it at times. It’s that little voice on our shoulder that reminds us how stupid we were to leave an established job and move to a new city to pursue a dream God had given us.
It questions our talents and abilities, reminding us how many more qualified people there are who could pull this off.
It points out how woefully inadequate our resources are and begs us to walk away while we still can.
Self-doubt plagues the thoughts of every leader in their journey to accomplish something great. I’ve grown to accept self-doubt as not only normal, but necessary.
Self-doubt can be an ally. This is because it serves as an indicator of aspiration. It reflects love, love of something we dream of doing, and desire, desire to do it. If you find yourself asking yourself (and your friends), “Am I really a writer? Am I really an artist?” chances are you are.
The counterfeit innovator is wildly self-confident. The real one is scared to death. - Steven Pressfield, The War of Art
How Do You Process Your Doubts?
My question for you isn’t, “Do you struggle with feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt?” because I think most leaders and innovators do.
I want to ask this instead…do you have people in your life (beside your spouse) that you feel comfortable discussing and processing your doubts with? When you start asking yourself, “Am I crazy?” do you have a safe environment to get those thoughts out in the open?
My suspicion is that few of you feel comfortable discussing your doubts openly with others but I could be wrong. Feel free to post your comment anonymously if you need to.
Update: I’m talking here about processing doubts in a safe environment. If we’re not careful, our doubts can lead to insecurity which is devastating in the life of a leader. For more on that read Pete’s post from today.
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August 6, 2009
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Aside from God… who sometimes I struggle to hear because at times he whispers rather than screams at me… I don’t have that “one person” who I can talk to about the things in my life that keep me up all night. It’s a comfort I lack and have been seeking for a long time… an unbiased sounding board, if you will.
I am that person to many… but I have not been able to find that person in return. I can handle things internally to a point but after that, I shut down. I hate that feeling.
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August 6, 2009
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I’m not sure I should respond here….
I don’t feel real comfortable about it…
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August 6, 2009
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I’m just kidding. Unfortunately for about five men in my life that live in different parts of the country and do ministry in completely different settings and ways, they hear my doubts and struggles on a fairly consistent basis. They help me process what’s going on and how to respond in a healthy way as opposed to reacting in a very unhealthy manner.
And I have a few very close friends that I’ve surrounded myself with here in Auburn that are also sounding boards and offer wisdom.
I put off a sense of arrogance I think that is a real frustration for others as they deal with me, but I know its overcompensation for a high degree of self-doubt. I’ve only gone to the depths of this with my wife, but I’ve discussed it in more detail with the aforementioned men as well.
I think perhaps my issue with the prideful air is a symptom that many self doubters probably deal with. As a result I’m always saying, I need to work on my pride issue, or I need to not be so prideful and boastful all the time, when in truth what I need to work on is my own self confidence. Perhaps then I wouldn’t feel the need to be prideful in every area, I’d just be confident in who I was and not need the extra attention. Hey, that might be a post in and of itself…I’ve solved my problem…yeah right. (sorry for the last conversation I just had with myself)
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August 6, 2009
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great post brad. every honest leader deals with this. If you aren’t doing something for the kingdom that makes you a little uncomfortable, then you probably are not following God’s calling.
That person for me is my wife mostly, but I also have a couple of other people that I can get on the phone or grab coffee with that can talk me off the edge. We all need them!
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August 6, 2009
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This is something that a lot of us deal with and I appreciate you (and Pete) bringing this up as it is timely for me.
In addition to my wife I am fortunate enough to have two other people that I am able to discuss this with. I think it’s vital that you have someone that will not only listen but respond in truth and love. One I meet with on a weekly basis and the other is one I know I can pick up the phone and call whenever I need to.
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August 6, 2009
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Something that I am very much struggling with at the moment.
I have been in search of a mentor figure and someone I could talk to about career and life struggles.
So far no luck….really need that “great” friend to lock into.
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August 6, 2009
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Absolutely fabulous post Brad, and a fascinating take on self-doubt as a sign of aspiration. I’ve always felt as a leader that the people I naturally want to elevate are rarely the ones that are brash and self-confident. There usually the ones I see greatness in that are struggling to see it in themselves.
Great truth for my own life as well…we all fight it, it’s just that only some of us are willing to admit it.
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August 7, 2009
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great post. i’m not in a ministry role as far as leadership, but i think most of us struggle with this in our everyday lives.
i have one friend who i feel safe spilling all my self-doubts to. a few other friends i feel pretty safe doing so also, but not like the one friend.