Where Will It End?
POSTED IN: Blog Posts, Culture
I’ve said it before, as a Dad to two girls I’m scared to death to raise my daughters in today’s culture, especially when I think about what waits for them when they grow up.
I grew up in the 80s, which weren’t perfect of course but still tame by comparison to today’s entertainment scene. MTV had just come on the scene and featured lots of big hair and cheesy music videos. Artists like Michael Jackson or Madonna pushed the envelope and caught flack for their “edginess.”
Today is a different story though. It seems every time I pull up a news page one artist or another is making headlines for setting the bar lower still with some racy music video or concert publicity stunt.
Lady Gaga, no stranger to controversy, released her latest music video on Tuesday for her song ‘Alejandro.’ It features Gaga dressed in a latex nun’s habit, sucking on rosary beads and at the center of a gay orgy dressed in a crucifix-emblazoned robe with a cross over her crotch.
Katy Perry (remember the one who “kissed a girl” and liked it?) made news when she publicly slammed Lady Gaga’s blasphemous video saying “Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.” In the article I read about Katy’s issue with Gaga, the author added at the end in a humorous touch of irony, “The teaser for Katy Perry’s ‘California Gurls’ video, in which frosting shoots from her breasts, was also released Tuesday.”
Hello Pot? Yeah, this is Kettle. You do realize you’re black too, right?
And don’t even get me started about Miley Cyrus’ shenanigans. You would think that an artist that started off her career appealing to young kids as Hannah Montana and openly professes to be a Christian would hopefully display some restraint and at least think about the example she is setting for her fans.
But of course, Miley proved indeed that “nobody’s perfect” when she decided to release a rather risque music video for her latest song and then went on to further generate controversy with her extremely sensual bumping, grinding and fake-kissing in a couple of live shows in Britain and Spain.
But don’t worry parents, Miley helped set the record straight for all her young fans on her blog: “I just want to put an end to this right now and just say one thing to everyone out there making this performance such a big deal. GET OVER IT! NOTHING HAPPENED. THERE ARE WAYYYYYYY MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN THE WORLD!”
So yeah, this is the world that I’m raising my two daughters to grow up in. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t scare the crap out of me. Sure, Lady Gaga and Katy Perry are setting new lows for what’s acceptable but where does it go from there? What will the “new low” be that the next artist sets? When Disney stars are bumping, grinding and almost-making-out on stage while their TV shows air on Disney every day, what will the next generation of kids entertainment look like? Where will it end? Will our world ever stand up and say Enough? Or are doomed to watch each generation try to out-do the last and push the envelope further still?
I don’t even know if I want to know the answers to those questions. I’m just a Dad to two little girls trying my best to raise them right in a world gone wrong.
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June 11, 2010
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AMEN! I’m with you. Two daughters also. I want to some how keep them right where they are where Max and Ruby and the Wonderpets are their source of entertainment.
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June 11, 2010
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I’m with you man.
I do have one thought that may be worthwhile:
I don’t think it’s very helpful to try and *completely* shelter your kids from this kind of stuff (of course you want to limit their exposure, but sooner or later, they will be exposed to the world). Nor do I think it’s helpful to just say “This is bad. Don’t do this. The Bible says this is evil. Etc”.
I think each of these instances can be used as an opportunity to teach our kids about sin and about God and about fulfillment.
“Why do you think Miley Cyrus did that?” Let’s see what the Bible says about it.”
That type of thing.
I think of a story Mark Driscoll told of a time he and his family were on vacation. He was with his kids in a pool, and a teenage girl was also in the pool, simultaneously flirting with and even kissing two different boys.
His 12-year-old daughter came up to him and said, “She probably doesn’t have a very good daddy.”
I want to raise my kids in a way that everything is an opportunity to learn the Gospel.
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June 11, 2010
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Totally agree, Brad. It’s so frustrating that it gets rewarded by media because it is controversial. It’s a never ending cycle.
But did you see how many y’s Miley put in her comment. She’s obviously serious about focusing on doing her music for the arts.
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June 11, 2010
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Excellent point Zack. The easiest (and most tempting) thing to do would be to shelter our kids completely from the world. Granted, we shouldn’t intentionally expose our kids to things that are inappropriate for their age but I do think there is wisdom in having conversations about it.
We decided to let my oldest daughter watch Miley’s latest music video and decide what she thought about it. Katy Perry and Lady Gaga….probably not.
I love your last thought, “I want to raise my kids in a way that everything is an opportunity to learn the Gospel.” Well said.
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June 11, 2010
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I just had a talk 2 days ago with my own 11 yr. old daughter about the “Alejandro” video. The 5 yr. old is too young for the subject matter, but I hope that the 11 yr. old gets it. Foturnately, MTV is not much of a factor to her. We don’t watch it, and she has not yet developed the desire to watch. I can’t shelter them too much, but I surely can train in the right way they should go.
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June 11, 2010
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Jonathan, MTV isn’t the big music video machine any more, now it’s YouTube. Even if our kids don’t watch MTV they can still see plenty of stuff on the web.
Good for you for talking with your kids openly about this.
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June 11, 2010
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I agree, Brad. I can’t believe what I have to explain to my 6 year old daughter. Thanks for addressing this. We as Christian parents are all in this together! Love your blog!
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June 11, 2010
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Zack took the words right out of MY mouth!! Really. I know, “great minds think….”
I don’t think kids today are given enough credit sometimes. They are constantly bombarded with media. From sources that certainly weren’t available 40 years ago! I learned such things from older cousins! And I survived! With little parent participation.
The key is just that. Parent participation. Finding that balance of being a parent first & a friend second. But, there needs to be a line of communication that makes adjustments as they grown up. Staying open-minded and not like an ostrich with it’s head in the sand, is important, too.
It’s a fine line to walk sometimes. Being prepared for what kids are exposed to is the best defense. Having God on our team doesn’t hurt either!
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June 11, 2010
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June 11, 2010
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Equally as terrified with 2 little boys to raise. Yikes.
Brings to mind a Rob Bell quote from “Velvet Elvis”: “Why blame the dark for being dark? It is far more helpful to ask why the light isn’t as bright as it could be.”
It’s sad that this kind of stuff has prevailed in a world with, what, 1.7 billion professing Christians? So many of our young people are slipping through the cracks, and I know I for one certainly haven’t done much to help prevent that.
On a lighter note, I am SO thankful to have the Holy Spirit to teach and guide. And Brad, that will be the saving grace for your little girls too.
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June 11, 2010
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Zach … Agree man! I do think we have to create a healthy dialogue with our kids about stuff Godly and ungodly.
Under our guidance in conversation,it helps them process as the are forming their own values.
God give us parents grace to navigate our families in this world.
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June 11, 2010
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There are some things we can do like boycott Disney and MTV as much as you can if their artists are going to negatively influence our kids….now is the time to say no more……
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June 11, 2010
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I’m glad we started out with a boy. I don’t envy you! I was just talking to a friend whose girls have decided they want to be bisexual. They’re 9 and 13. Crazy! Apparently it’s the cool thing to do/be in school.
Whatever happened to just wearing your boyfriend’s football jersey to reach “cool” status???
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June 12, 2010
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I’m a pretty young teacher and I don’t consider myself very religious, but I’m still shocked at the things my students will wear to class! But with naked stars everywhere, how can they learn that a belly shirt and short shorts is NOT appropriate for school?
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June 12, 2010
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We have three little girls…the twins start kindergarten in the fall…it’s truly terrifying.
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June 12, 2010
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Dad to a 10 y/o girl here. Lots of good stuff posted, it does scare the crap out of me too. Best advice I have heard on this came from the Mens Fraternity series by Robert Lewis. He pointed out how utterly important it is to show your kids that you love their mom, and that you think she is beautiful. More importantly for girls, you, as dad, MUST tell them that you think they are pretty. you are the main source of guidance for them as they grow up as they define how to gain the right kind of attention from men.
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June 12, 2010
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Brad
Great post! I’m a mom of 3 teens! Our son is in college at IU and our daughters are both in high school (where I work). They have the world crammed in their faces everyday and still choose Christ! It can turn out ok. While hubby and I were laying the foundation in their lives, way back when…I wondered what life would be like for them when they got older (like you are doing now).
I couldn’t imagine any of this crazy! All I can say is….make the investment that God expects of you in your girls/kids. Make HIM real to your kids! Lead them to a personal relationship….by not only talking the talk but walking it!
Parents have lost it in so many ways. They THINK that they have to just let their kids go and let them evolve with the world around them. I’ve watched it time and time again. Churched families with kids that live contrary to the christian lifestyle.
You and I can fool everyone around us with our faith….but we can NEVER fool our kids!
Be the same…all the time.
Pray over them, with them and teach them who they are in Christ.
No Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Jessica Simpson, Miley girls can erase a foundation firm in Christ!
Just sayin!
PS.
I love hearing my kids opinions of these folks. They get it!
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June 12, 2010
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totally with you Brad.
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June 13, 2010
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As a mom of five boys… I have fears as well.
I see many double standards in the world today that reallt make my head spin.
What an awesome father your girls have! Many children are not so lucky!
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June 13, 2010
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New to your blog. As a father of two little girls myself I share your concerns. Keep fighting the good fight.
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June 13, 2010
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Brad this is exactly where I am at as a father. I have three boys and a girl. I wonder if my boys will be able to find a Godly wife when they get old enough. Let’s just say I fear for my daughter!
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June 14, 2010
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I think our job as parents is to shelter our children from garbage as long as possible. We can teach them to shun it.
And I don’t need to see those videos either! Even adults can change the channel, or turn off the tv–or cancel cable altogther, and bring in some good, classic movies.
You can help your children develop a taste for what is good and uplifting, just like you teach them to like healthy food instead of eating junk.
You can set standards of modesty for your family, even if everyone else around you does not.
Our adult Sunday School lesson spoke about Eli tody. His sons were doing wickedly, and it was leading the people of Isreal astray, as his sons were priests in the temple. Instead of honoring God, they cared more for the world. Eli was chastened for failing to stop his sons from serving in the temple while doing what was wrong.
Whom do we honor? Do we teach our children that their bodies are temples–to keep them clean and pure–or do we follow the world?
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June 14, 2010
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Yes Brad, Where Will It End?????
it’s not a parent problem only but everyone too.
why should entertainment mean unacceptable family value?
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June 14, 2010
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As the father to a teen daughter, I too, am concerned. But even adults have the Sex and the City movies which aren’t any better. Good post with plenty to think and be concerned about.
BTW, you might like the Open Letter to Miley Cyrus.
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June 21, 2010
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[...] Where Will It End? [...]
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June 23, 2010
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I have a daughter and feel the same way. She has liked Hannah Montana for years and now the girl is inappropriate for my daughter all of a sudden!
I also have two boys and worry dearly about them growing up and trying to be men of character with sex and half-naked (or more) women everywhere they look! We recently drove past a billboard for our local gym and there was a woman in a teeny weeny bikini, dripping with sweat. We go to perfectly innocent places like Target or in to pay for gasoline, and there are magazine covers with barely dressed women and cover headlines like the recent “How to cheat on your spouse and get away with it”. My son saw this as we were walking through TArget for goodness sake!
I do talk to all three of my children all of the time, but I do believe in sheltering. The real world can wait. They do have to deal with the real world one day, but for my kids, that will be when they are older, more mature, and have more tools with which to deal with the real world. We do not watch commercial television and they are not allowed on the internet unless it is with me. When we see something out and about, or at friends’ we talk about it. But for now, by letting that garbage into your home, you’re basically opening the door of your home to Satan and then battling him for your children. Me? I have decided to slam the door in his face in the first place.
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May 4, 2011
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I totally agree with what you said, Brad. I have a 4 year old daughter and I’m already polishing up my ninja skills, just in case.
What’s interesting to me is where these kids are learning this stuff from. Somebody is teaching them that this is how they are supposed to use themselves and their “sexuality.” Someone is encouraging and giving them positive reinforcement (cash) to put themselves out there this way.
One recent example, “Friday,” by Rebecca Black. Not to be outdone, another girl (12) put out a video where she walks around in what amounts to lingerie, dancing provocatively with chairs, etc. The saddest part is we are teaching them this is where their worth comes from and where their value is. I am only one parent, but my daughter will always be taught to respect herself and that her value comes from somewhere much greater than mock-sex on a stage.
Love the look of your site too. Good stuff!
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July 20, 2011
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July 21, 2011
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August 31, 2011
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It is so frustrating raising kids in this country. It will end at “no tv” at all for the kids. It may sound extreme, but what else I could do? TV is not a good entertainment anymore.
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September 2, 2011
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electric airsoft guns…
Where Will It End? | Brad Ruggles…