Weird Books I’ll Never Buy
POSTED IN: Blog Posts, Book Reviews, Just For Fun
I recently came across some rather odd books. At first glance I thought for sure that they weren’t real but upon closer inspection I managed to find each and every one at Amazon. You do know that there are nearly 200,000 books published each year, right? These are just a few that probably shouldn’t have been.
Do-It-Yourself Coffins
Wow, that’s pretty morbid, isn’t it? I’ve only heard of people building their own coffins in horror films. Then again, I have to give props to whoever came up with the subtitle, “A book for Woodworkers who Want to be Buried in Their Work.”
How To Have Sex In The Woods
Ummm….is it really that complicated? According to the inside flap of the book, yes it is. Here are just a few of the questions you probably have never considered before getting frisky under the stars:
- What sex essentials should be part of your first-aid kit?
- What kind of camping equipment provides particular comfort for two?
- What are the effects of the elements on condoms, spermicides, and other contraceptives?
- How do you find that perfect spot for your love den?
- What about foreplay, personal hygiene, and protection from pesky plants or adverse weather conditions while you’re exposed?
If you’re planning on a little nookie during your next camping trip and don’t have the answer to any of those questions above, this book is for you. For your kids’ sake though, please pack it somewhere where they won’t find it.
Microwave Cooking For One
Saddest…cookbook…ever.
How To Avoid Huge Ships
Don’t laugh. Think how many maritime collisions could have been avoided if more people had read this book. And besides, it must have been pretty good in order to warrant a second edition. You have to account for…umm, huger ships and stuff.
How To Start Your Own Country
Yes! You too can start your own country! Seriously though, there could be some advantages to starting your own country. For example, anyone could place and compete in an Olympic sport and make it to the Olympics. Plus, you could write your own laws – I think I would outlaw reality television and make Freebird the National Anthem.
How To Be Pope
Wow, talk about a niche audience! Then again, if you ever do become Pope, I suppose it would be helpful to have a manual.
What crazy books have you come across that could be added to this list?
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June 28, 2010
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How about Cooking with Pooh (http://www.amazon.com/Cooking-Pooh-Cookie-Cutters-Adventures/dp/1570822611)
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June 28, 2010
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My first thought was, “Where does Brad find this stuff?”
Love the Huge Ships one…a must buy.
My favorite “The Mullet, Hairstyle of the Gods”
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June 28, 2010
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Okay, that microwave loner lady is REALLY hungry! Maybe she’s eating away her loneliness. Funny stuff.
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June 28, 2010
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one day when visiting my wife’s grandparents, guess which book we noticed on their coffeetable? (no, thank goodness it wasn’t the forest sex book).
yes, he was reading “How to build your own coffin”, and in fact he WAS building his own coffin. We were a bit mortified by it at first, but he shrugged it off and said it was no big deal. He knew it would save the family money, and he loved building things.
A few years ago Pop passed away and one of the stories that everyone was telling was how he was buried that day in the coffin he built. What originally seemed creepy to all of us somehow felt right. Hard to explain, but pretty cool.
anyway, seeing that book made me laugh and think of him.
and now to go purchase one of the other books for my wife…
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June 28, 2010
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Wow, I can’t believe someone bought that book and actually built his own coffin, let alone someone you know. Who knows, maybe the “do-it-yourself coffin” niche is bigger than I realized.
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June 28, 2010
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How about a copy of Hamlet written in Klingon
http://www.amazon.com/Klingon-Hamlet-Lawrence-Schoen/dp/0671035789/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1277764098&sr=8-4
or coming soon the bible, also in Klingon
http://www.kli.org/wiki/index.php?Klingon%20Bible%20Translation%20Project
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June 28, 2010
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[...] Weird Books I’ll Never Buy | Brad Ruggles [...]
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June 29, 2010
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[...] Probably Don’t Invest In These Books [...]
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June 29, 2010
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Hahaha! Oh my goodness. I love this post.
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July 2, 2010
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Brad,
These are so awesome.
The ‘how to avoid huge ships’ has got to be the best…
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July 13, 2010
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You know, now that I read this blog post, I want to buy ALL of these books. I mean, I think I am a master when it comes to cooking in my microwave, but to have Marie Smith tell me her side of the story, well, I might just get better! But really, I want to know what these folks were thinking when he or she wrote them. Or when they sat down and said, “So, I want to write a book. I wonder it will be about. Perhaps avoiding big ships? No, better yet, how to become the Pope. Yeah, that’s the ticket!”
Anyway, this made me laugh. I am in the middle of my first novel and I now wonder, will people post my book years from now and say the same thing? I hope not! I think my concept is pretty good.
I do have to know, though, where you got the idea for this. Random, which makes it even better. Love it Brad, good work!
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September 14, 2010
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The Sci-fi film nSpace,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAcirnrdGhw
from the Dovin Melhee story:
http://www.amazon.com/nSpace-Dovin-Melhee/dp/0557221889/
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October 26, 2010
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where do you guys buy camping equipment online ?”~”
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November 13, 2010
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when you go out on a camping trip, you should always make sure that you have you are complete with camping equipment -,,
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May 2, 2011
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May 5, 2011
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Really nice information, thanks!
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May 11, 2011
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Nice! Great article! Thank you.
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July 21, 2011
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Hello there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyhow, I’m definitely glad I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back frequently!
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September 11, 2011
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